CHRISTIAN  MARRIAGE  AFTER  DIVORCE

Marriage is a relationship of commitment and love.

We get married because we want to spend the rest of our lives with the person we love. Because it is such a solemn step, we make important promises in good faith when we get married.

As those of you who have been married and divorced know only too well, things do not always turn out as we hope: desertion, adultery or cruelty can all destroy a marriage. Sometimes things just fall apart despite our best efforts.

Whatever the reasons for the break-up of your previous marriage, we are glad that you want to try again. We are happy to support you and help you to discover God’s purpose for you.

BACKGROUND

Provided you are single, you may marry whom you like. The Church of England has a responsibility to marry everyone (for the first time) who lives within the Parish or who regularly worships there. There is however no obligation to marry anyone second time around. In the past, the answer was simply No, even if you were there every week. The best that the Church of England could offer was a service of blessing after a civil ceremony. This is not as bad as it sounds, as this is normal for all weddings in most parts of Europe. It should not be considered second best. But if we can bless a marriage, why not celebrateit in the first place ?

THE  SACRAMENT  OF  MARRIAGE

Marriage is a Sacrament, ‘an outward and visible sign of an inward and invisible grace’, a gift from God to help us live together in faith and love. Christians seek God’s blessing on their promises, if they are to fulfil them. The outward sign is the rings and the promises: the inward and invisible grace is everything else that follows in the giving and receiving of love. The Sacrament of Marriage draws us more closely into the life of God. It links us with the life of the Church, the Christian community here and throughout the world, with all the saints in glory, and with the life, love and presence of God himself.

MARRIAGE  IN  CHURCH  AFTER  DIVORCE

But I’ve been married before - doesn’t that make a difference? Yes, it does. Recently the Church of England has revised its rules concerning the remarriage of divorceées. It is now possible in exceptional circumstancesto remarry in Church. The Church’s teaching about marriage has not changed: marriage is still the lifelong and permanent union of husband and wife. Divorced people have no automatic right to be married in Church. We recognise however that there are many different reasons for the break-up of a first marriage, and that people can and do move on to a better understanding of where things went wrong. It is not our job to judge or punish them for past mistakes.

Christ Church, Fenton is prepared to  consider enquiries from divorced people who genuinely seek Christian marriage. The couple will be asked to discuss their situation frankly and confidentially with the Parish Priest, who will then state their case (without using names) to the Standing Committee of the Parochial Church Council and seek their advice as whether to allow or refuse the marriage.

CHRISTIAN  COMMITMENT

Of course, Christian marriage is only one part of a full Christian life. We expect the couple to be (or become) full members of the Christian community as regular worshippers. There will be the opportunity for those with little background in the Christian Faith to learn more about it, and to be prepared (where necessary) for Baptism and / or Confirmation.

CONSIDERATIONS

The Committee will ask:

·                 Do you understand and accept the Church’s teaching on marriage ?

·                 Are you ready to undertake your new marriage as part of a full Christian life as members of the Church ?

·                 Have either of you been divorced more than once ?

·                 Is this new relationship a cause for the breakdown of the previous marriage?

·                 Have you come to terms with the damage caused by the divorce, including your own mistakes ?

·                 Have you done all you can to repair the harm done to others by the divorce ?

·                 How does this affect any children of the first marriage ?

·                 Would any scandal be caused by the proposed second marriage ?

·                 Would the Church (or Christian marriage) be brought into   disrepute ?

WHAT  IF  THEY  SAY  NO ?

You must be prepared for the Committee to refuse the request. The Christian Church still views you with respect and love, but may not be able to conduct your marriage. It may still be possible to have a civil marriage blessed in Church. You are still welcome to worship here, to be cared for when you are in need, and to have your children baptised and confirmed. But the guidelines issued by the Bishops make it clear that a second marriage in Church is the exception rather than the rule.

May we stress that, whatever the decision, you are still loved and welcomed, and that the Church is always here for you in time of need.

We wish you every blessing in your search for God’s will.

Christ Church Fenton Christ Church Fenton Christ Church Fenton Christ Church Fenton

Christ Church Fenton Christ Church Fenton Christ Church Fenton Christ Church Fenton