ARRANGING A FUNERAL

WELCOME

Welcome to Christ Church, Fenton. We are the Church of England Parish Church for this area. Anyone who lives within the Parish or has a connection with Christ Church is welcome to have their funeral here. Sometimes the connection is close and long-standing; sometimes the funeral will be the first time back in a very long time. Any Parishioner has the legal right to request - and receive - the services of their Parish Church at the time of death. We welcome everyone and never turn anyone away.

INTRODUCTION

When some one close to us dies, even when we have seen it coming, we often feel unprepared and unfamiliar with the procedure. Arranging a funeral is one of the hardest tasks that many of us will ever have to perform. Your Priest and Funeral Director work together to ensure that all the practicalities are taken care of.

There is no distinction in death between those who actually went to Church and those who didn’t, since all are equal in the sight of God. At Christ Church we uphold this by offering the same standard of service and pastoral care to everyone. Where possible, we will visit as soon as we can to talk, to listen, to make arrangements, and to offer the consolation of the love of God. The name of the person who has died will be remembered at the daily Eucharist until a week after the funeral. Names are also remembered on All Souls’ Day and at our annual Memorial Service, both in November. There is no sense in which the dead simply vanish !

BURIAL OR CREMATION ?

This is very much a matter of personal choice, and people often have strong feelings for or against. We are happy either way. If cremation is preferred, then the entire funeral service may take place at the crem, or start in Church followed by committal at the crem (just the same as taking the body to the cemetery for burial.) The service itself is exactly the same wherever it takes place: one is not ‘less religious’ than the other!

GETTING THERE

A funeral aims to help us come to terms with what has happened. The suddenness of death and the speed with which everything is over and done with can make it even more stressful. For this reason, many people find it helpful to spread the events that are part of the funeral over several days. The body can be brought quietly to Church the day before, or earlier on the day of the funeral. This gives us time to get used to what is happening. It means that the coffin is already in place when we come for the funeral.

THE FUNERAL SERVICE

The Funeral Service is not long. Like any church service, it is primarily about God and what he has done for us, and not what we reckon as our own achievements. We give thanks for the life that has come to an end, we pray for those who are left, and we entrust the departed into the hands of God with faith in the Resurrection of Jesus.

The content of the Funeral Service is discussed and agreed between the Priest and the family. You don’t have to have hymns if you don’t want to. At a smaller funeral it is sometimes better to omit them altogether. Most of our regular weekday services take place without music. When there are to be hymns, these are chosen from Common Praise, the hymnbook we use at Christ Church. We choose only those things that we know will work, as I feel silly singing on my own! We regret that we are unable to use music (live or recorded) which is inconsistent with Christian worship: Frank Sinatra and Liza Minelli are both great artists, but they belong in another context.

If the deceased (or their family) has been regular communicants, their funeral will normally be a Requiem Eucharist to celebrate in death the faith by which they lived in life. The Requiem may take place on a separate occasion if this is more convenient.

THE COMMITTAL

Whether you opt for burial or cremation, the end result is the same. A funeral is about saying goodbye and parting can be acutely painful. We let the deceased down if we do not do this properly.
At a cremation the coffin is always lowered in exactly the same way as at a burial. The service is not complete until this has been done. We would not dream of leaving the coffin by the graveside and walking away, and we don’t do this at the crem either. No one pretends that this is easy, but it is only when we grasp the reality of death that we can embrace the hope of resurrection held out by Christ.

AFTERWARDS

It is often good for family and friends to spend time together after the funeral. You may be desperate for a hot drink, or just want to catch up with people you haven’t seen for along time. We are very happy to host this in Church.

Any cut flowers may be brought back from the cemetery or crem and arranged in Church in memory of the deceased. Putting them to this use is felt by many to be better than leaving them to perish out of doors, but the choice is entirely yours.

We are very happy to bury ashes (often in a family grave), but we are unable to scatter them. As Christians we believe in the resurrection of the whole body, and not assorted bits. We consider it disrespectful to the deceased to allow their remains to be blown around by the wind.



We hope that this information goes some way towards answering any Questions you may have. We are more than happy to talk over any other aspects of a funeral. Please do not worry about ‘being a nuisance’: your Priest is happy to accompany you at every stage of the journey. 


May the souls of all the faithful departed, through the love and mercy of God, rest in peace and rise in glory. Amen.